Ah, first dates—the magical time when you’re trying to impress someone while pretending you’re not secretly sweating bullets. A lot can go wrong at the dinner table: awkward silences, food in your teeth, or a surprise splatter of sauce. But don’t worry, I’ve got you covered. Here’s a list of the top 10 things to remember so you can focus on getting to know your date and less on how not to embarrass yourself.
1. Remember the Napkin
Napkins are your best friend on a date. Keep it on your lap, and if you need to dab your lips or hands, do so discreetly. Waving it around like a victory flag isn’t a good look. And please, no nose-blowing. If you need to, excuse yourself and head to the restroom.
2. Don’t Treat the Menu Like a Law Book
Reading every line of the menu as if it contains the secret to immortality is a bit much. If you don’t know what to order, ask for recommendations or choose something simple. Your date doesn’t want to sit through a 20-minute dissection of the wine list.
3. No Loud Chewing
No one wants to feel like they’re on a date with a barnyard animal. Keep your chewing quiet and your mouth closed. If your meal requires extra work (I’m looking at you, ribs), maybe pick a different dish. Or bring a bib, but that’s not going to score you any second dates.
4. Don’t Hog the Conversation
Sure, you’re amazing, but this is a date, not a monologue. Ask your date questions, listen to their stories, and maybe don’t bring up your childhood collection of taxidermied squirrels. And if they do bring up something awkward, like their collection of vintage socks, just nod and smile. It’s called social grace.
5. Elbows Off the Table
While you might be tempted to lean in close and get cozy, remember that the table isn’t a lounge chair. Keep your elbows off the table, unless you’re doing the dramatic “lean in” during a particularly juicy story. Otherwise, it’s just a space invasion.
6. Don’t Talk with Your Mouth Full
I know you’re excited to tell that hilarious story about your awkward high school prom, but if you’ve got a mouth full of linguine, hold off. No one wants a front-row seat to your dinner. Finish chewing, then share. Your date (and their dry-cleaner) will thank you.
7. No Phones at the Table
If you need your phone for something important, that’s fine. But constant texting, checking social media, or worse, taking selfies during dinner, is a huge red flag. Focus on your date. If it’s that boring, you should probably just cut your losses and go home.
8. Respect Personal Space
Dates are a great time to get to know each other, but let’s not rush the whole “personal space” thing. If you’re reaching across the table to grab their fork, it’s too much. Keep to your side of the table and save the hand-holding for after dessert (if all goes well, of course).
9. Mind the Bread Basket
It’s not the Olympic breadbasket relay. If you want some bread, ask for it to be passed. Don’t lunge across the table or hoard all the rolls like it’s a carb apocalypse. Sharing is caring, and a good sign of someone who doesn’t have food issues.
10. Thank Your Date
At the end of the date, be gracious. Whether it’s a simple “thanks for dinner” or offering to split the bill, showing gratitude is classy. Even if you didn’t feel a spark, it’s polite to thank them for their time. Who knows? They might just become your best friend—or at least your go-to person for bad date stories.
With these tips, you’re all set to rock that dinner date. Remember, dating is about having fun and making a connection. So relax, be yourself, and try not to spill wine on their outfit. Unless it’s red wine on a red shirt, then, you know, you could get away with it.
Moonbird x
