Life is like a desert, you only regret the oasis you didn’t drink from

Life is like a desert, you only regret the oasis you didn’t drink from

by | Feb 3, 2023 | Travel | 0 comments

I feel like a young tree that’s been repotted in new soil, new exciting environmental conditions, and pruned to the branch in order to survive the great transition from Africa to Europe.

My favorite and familiar natural habitat, best friends, loving family and the carefully planned daily routines, under which I recieved so much shelter and safety for my well nestled South-African excistence, are no more. I’ve been uprooted and I’ve finally reached somewhat of a stabilizing point where I’ve processed just enough to let you guys in on what has been the most adventurous and trying time of my life.

As many of you know I was pretty well settled in the comfort that came from the close to perfect big city life my small town heart has been blessed with. The moments I got to savor whilst watching the sunrise from my cute little balcony, teaching students from across the country, having my dream job as a Makeup Lecturer and being around my nearest and dearest was enough to keep my cup in overflow – until one normal Wednesday afternoon during my first Seattle coffee break, when I realized that my unyielding thirst for life and adventure are not really being satisfied and everything I’m pouring my time into isn’t giving me what I need to feel like I’m making the most of my earthly experience.

According to the boxes society gave me to tick, my life looked exactly as it should at a whopping 26. But, I wanted more. More freedom. More challenges. More money. More stimulation and more of this extraordinary world I am lucky enough to live in. Unfortunately life doesn’t work like that, we don’t ask for more and then sit back whilst the universe molds the perfect porthole to an ocean of everlasting happiness. We must hustle for it and man did I gain a few grey hairs by deciding to re-write my story in the midst of a crashing economy and global pandemic.

When everyone around me started to lose their jobs due to the devastating rippling effects of Corona, I tried to convince myself that the sensible thing to do was to hold onto my safety nest and rather not gamble with my golden eggs, but everything inside of me urged to challenge the odds against the new goal of becoming a stewardess on a superyacht in the country I’ve always dreamed of running around with childlike abandon, Europe. Becoming a stewardess would be a stepping stone to what I want, which is ultimately endless horizons of cultures, diversity, beautiful places and dream-like unknown territory.

The idea came to a thrilling bursting point and I already started to feed from the rewards I could get by throwing myself into a risky adventure that came with a obvious policy of zero guarantees. This way of approaching life has always given me the freedom to trust my instinct, despite the challenges. In fact, give me the challenges because this life is something I need to make my own, and I’ve always liked to do so without the fears that came from mental restrictions.

Of course I faced countless objections, but none of them felt impossible to at least try to power through, so on that normal Wednesday coffee break – with my favorite coconut laté in the one hand and my red marking pen in the other, I started to map out the way to my dreams, because right then and there I knew there was no coming back from the decision I clearly made. I need to quit my job, get out of the contract that binds me to my apartment, sell all my furniture, give away at least 80% of my clothes and strip myself lose from any and all materialistic things that would make the load heavier when I drive across the country to Cape Town, where I’ll obtain all the necessary marine qualifications to only dip my toe in a ocean of challenges that only got bigger the deeper I dove.

The emotional challenges along with the practical logistics to let go from the life I knew was just the first few steps of what started to feel like an endless marathon. After months of saving and getting rid of my earthly collateral, I drove down to Cape Town to complete my studies. On the first day of class after trying to get use to being a student again, I got reminded by one of the hindering facts I was already well aware of. South-Africans are currently in a tricky catch 22 and the regulations for international traveling changes frequently due to our infections rising at a ridiculous speed.

By this time I already quit my job, I’m out of my apartment and my entire wardrobe is scattered between girls that jumped at the opportunity to clear out my beautiful little walk in closet. Our STCW Lecturers admired our bravery for pursuing the industry in such uncertain times but they also made no secret of the fact that we might end up using our newly obtained qualifications within the borders of a locked down country. “Boats will not recruit now anyway, especially when you’re labeled 50 shades of green”, they said with one eyebrow raised.

My dreams of venturing down the dreamy streets of some European city burned down infront of my eyes as they got set to light by solid facts the optimist in me couldn’t even argue with. However, I stayed positive and I didn’t stop dreaming of the life I wanted. I didn’t entertain negative thoughts and I hoped that somehow, by a sheer miracle, I would be recruited by a boat, preferably in France, Spain or Italy. I spent my entire time in Cape Town sight seeing, studying till late, keeping tabs on the agonizing international restrictions and tried to remind myself that although it feels like I’m lost in a desert of absolute uncertainty, I’ve come this far and all I need to do is give it my best freaking shot. “No risk, no story”, is the main theme of the TED talks I gave myself to refrain from triggering my first possible nervous breakdown.

I wrote my 10th and final exam, with no job to look forward to, no visa, no employment contract and no plan – due to this damn virus you need a visa to be taken seriously by agents, but you can’t apply for a visa without an employment contract at the moment either. So with the frustration that came from being stuck between a rock and a hard place, I went on a online head hunt for Captains that I could email personally, with the hopes of finding one gracious enough to recruit a freshly graduated, inexperienced little greenie from a country giving birth to of course, new covid strains. Finally, my stars aligned and I managed to land a interview with a Captain. After a mountainous amount of effort and administrative agony, I am grateful to finally have my visa and call the Captain I told my story to, my own. My oasis came and I couldn’t be happier knowing that I’ll soon be drinking from the wells in Italy.

After doing all of the above and surviving atleast one and a half anxiety attacks a day, I finally had the chance to fit what was left from the impromptu garage sale into a big maroon suitcase and do what no amount of time could ever prepared me for, saying goodbye to my loved ones. This was by far the hardest part of it all. I don’t even let myself think back about the last day I saw my loving Mother and family, all eyes were bloodshot and I remember that within those moments of finality doubt creeped in. I did it. I pushed through all the odds, I overcame the challenges, I worked hard, sacrificed my nest but am I really ready to leave the people I love behind.

Luckily, I am blessed with the most amazing flock of birds any impulsive wild child could ask for. I’ve always been the unpredictable sibling, but they never threw water on my wings because of it. They’ve always embraced me in my extremity, just like they did on that last day at the airport. As heartbreaking as it was to greet my family without knowing when I’ll see them again, I had to run for the departure of the final jump. I almost missed my plane due to an overdose of the emotions that came from knowing these are my last moments of familiarity. As the city lights of my homeland started to dim further and further away, I started to shed my own saltwater in galons of gratefulness and disbelief.

At long last, I was on my way to Italy, to dive into the first of many awaiting chapters to one of my biggest dreams, international chivalry. Although my heart was heavy, I found comfort in knowing that life is like a desert, you only regret the oasis you didn’t drink from and boy was I ready to soak up every single drop of my new journey at sea.

Stop the clock

Stop the clock

by | Jun 8, 2021 | Beauty | 0 comments

Let’s be real, we all have this ideal version of ourselves wrapped up in our minds and everything we do and decide is based on reaching the life and body we want that person to live in.

What the exact expectations of the perfect version of you look like might be completely different from mine, but we do have one big common denominator – we both forget to stop and smell the roses in the meantime. If you’re a restless little perfectionist that sets the bar high for yourself and others then I hope you would feel inspired by this quick word spill of something I had to come to terms with for the sake of my own mental wellbeing.

Stop the clock.

I seldom simmer in the feeling of accomplishment when I reach my goals. One part of me feels like it’s a waste of time and the other part is already chasing the next big thing. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being a determined hustler, I am happy to be part of a goal-driven generation but I’ve realized that I often neglect the present during the endless pursuit of becoming. My mind is always in overdrive, figuring out what the next step should be – but I have realized that life is about so much more than premeditated and calculated decisions and honestly, I’m freaking exhausted from always being ten steps ahead. I want us to take a moment and let our hair down, bask in the early morning sunrise, and most importantly love the version of the person you are right now – the one who is still in the phases of becoming – the one whose heart, mind, and body have been through the most to get you where you are now.

Slow down.

I think my hair was put on my head as a daily reminder of the fact that I can’t control everything. Besides, my time on earth is impermanent and I don’t want to waste so much of it trying to tame the Portuguese curls. Let’s slow down, shall we? Let’s release the fears that tell us that we should’ve been somewhere other than this moment. Release the sleepless nights that came from feeling dissatisfied with the time frame of your journey and let your spirit be lifted by the gift of simply being alive and getting to witness a brand new day. That is part of the beauty of life, knowing that it’s rich with small mercies. Slow down dear heart and know that you are exactly where you are supposed to be whilst appreciating what you already have.

Ultimate goal.

Let’s shift our focus from big houses and fancy cars. The ultimate goal for me is to have peace with myself and to be brave enough to eliminate toxic feelings, elements, and people from my life. Let’s unlearn bad habits, negative thought patterns, behavior that stems from childhood traumas and create a space for ourselves that is nurturing enough to recalibrate our dreams and desires towards this quest of forever wanting more. You can want the entire universe, but all you will ever have is today. Time is such a scarce currency, we should be much more mindful about how we spend it in our heads.

Rise and shine.

Now that we have discussed the traits of an ideal and present mindset in a hustling society, let’s continue to walk this earth and savor the simple and beautiful moments it gives us daily. Sure, we will still work on our secret prayers, but we now know that a big house in the Bahamas won’t mean anything without a lively and cared-for heart living in it.

Now go and be a unicorn until I see you here again.

My 7 favorite beauty tips for beginners

My 7 favorite beauty tips for beginners

by | Nov 13, 2020 | Beauty | 0 comments

My 7 easy beauty makeup tips for beginners.

Alrighty lovelies, lets go back to the basics shall we? I remember my 10 year old curious self sitting in front of my Mother’s mirror – exploring all the cream and powder products I had to my exposure. Layering my face with every single product I could get my tiny fingers on gave me such a thrill. Jumping castles and swimming on Sunday’s never rocked my boat like hosting makeovers did. I even tweezed brows, over plucked them and got into huge trouble, but all in the name of beauty – so I took my time in the naughty corner on the chin.

How many of us go through this beauty venture with such a childlike approach and understanding? Hopefully not to such an indulging extend like I did, lol! As an adult, being exposed to a market that is literally flooded with thousands of products, opinions and techniques to chose from can be super overwhelming.

BUT, the good news is anyone (yes, even you) can be good at doing their own face beat with a few of my basic makeup tips and a little guidance. Whether you’re looking to tackle the cat eye or finally figure out how to apply contours & highlights on the right spots!

TIPS

#1 – Wink away.
Melt your pencil to make it glide. Creamy products blend better when they are warmed up. Remember to keep the line nice, thin and bump free.

#2 – Oh, hi there pigment.
Use a lighter shade of foundation on your eye lids to make the eye shadow pop.

#3 – No more raccoons please!
A smoky eye can go from sultry to sloppy real fast if you don’t know what you’re doing. Apply your shadow in the outer third of your eye and blend it out properly. Remember to always check your symmetry, color balance and blending.

#4 – All you need is love. Kidding. All you need is lashes.
Curl lashes prior to applying mascara to ensure that flattering curly lift. Coat them a few times and be sure to run through the clumps if there is any.

#5 – Flirty Felicity.
Dust some translucent setting powder on your lashes between coats of mascara to plump up your lashes. The powder helps the mascara to grip in between coats, leaving you with fuller, more voluminous lashes.

#6 – My lips are sealed.
Set your lipstick with a tissue and powder. Swipe on your shade, lay a tissue over your mouth, and dust translucent powder over the top to set the color from smudging and bleeding. This process may seem extra, but the pay off is SO worth it!

#7 – Blushing Betty.
Use a brush handle as a contour guide. Everyone’s face is shaped differently, so where your BFF might be doing her contour may not be the best place for you to do yours. To tell where you should be dusting your bronzer (or blusher) roll a makeup brush handle right below your cheekbone (directly in the pocket underneath the actual bone) to find the perfect angle for your face. Always remember to soften the color out by blending it.

Thats enough love for now, stay tuned for more!

For the boys: This is how you’ll know she’s a keeper

For the boys: This is how you’ll know she’s a keeper

by | Jul 26, 2020 | For the Boys | 0 comments

Hey Tiger!

I asked a few male creatures what they would like to read about and this topic jumped up first. It’s a goodie, I must say! Its enlightening to know there’s still a few genuine fella’s out there who actually pick their partners based on more than just the three common B’s.

I would say find a girl with a horrible tattoo and marry her. She knows how to make bad decisions and stick with them.

Just kidding. Obviously there is no such thing as the ideal well rounded partner, we’re all flawed humans striving to perfect our existence in every and any way we can. But if you’re lucky enough to find someone who’s willing to better herself for the greater good, hang in there. Its not easy to change one’s true, sinful nature and a willing heart should be celebrated for its bravery.

If she takes good care of herself physically she will take good care of you.

Self respect is a attribute you definitely want your girl to have. I’m not saying don’t settle for anything less than one of Charlie’s Angel’s, remember there is a huge difference between attention seeking Sally and the girl next door. Sally will spend all her time and energy on luring men in with her appearance – but when she opens her mouth she’s got nothing but a rehearsed four word vocabulary. The girl next door takes her appearance seriously, but she’s more focused on building up her character, unlike Sally – who’s only ambition in life is to be the next Kim Kardashian.

If she is lose with her body she’s going to be lose with her heart.

Okay boys, lets be honest real quick. Genetically you aren’t wired to care about this fact too much, but if you’re on the look out for someone to raise your children with then you gotta listen up. Find someone who treasures both her heart and her body. Easy access in means easy access out, you want a rich and meaningful relationship – not just some temporary sex retreat where two of a woman’s most valuable possessions is shared by many others. There is absolutely nothing sacred about that. Would you spend loads of money buying a car that’s been used and abused by others because the owner didn’t mind letting it go for a joy ride every now and again for some self gratification? Yeah. Didn’t think so.

I know you want to feel like her king, but go for the woman who’s world doesn’t revolve around you.

Take caution when a girl cant even buy a bread without your input or struggles to breath if you’re not in a two meter vicinity. We weren’t created to become one in every way humanly possible. Unhealthy codependency is a real thing, find yourself a lady who is emotionally independent and mature enough to know that you are in her life to make it better, not to become it. There should be a healthy balance, where you feel prioritized but also have your own space to breath in.

If she challenges you – she’s a keeper, for sure!

If you’re into personal growth, get yourself a lady that wants to see you grow and reach your full potential in all the important areas of your life. You want someone who’s supportive of the best version of you, not someone who’s intimidated by it. If she challenges your way of thinking, it means she challenges her own and there will never be a dull moment. Settle for the one with a curious and wandering mind, she’s forever growing and she’ll make sure that you keep up with your own journey.

Make sure her moral compass is aligned with your expectations.

Don’t be heart broken when you face betrayal in some way, if you didn’t put in the effort to get to know her true nature. There is black, white and grey people in life. The grey one’s are always a huge risk, because they will find reasons to push the boundaries and then justify their selfish behavior. They will compromise on important values if it gives them some temporary sense of self satisfaction. They cant think beyond it, they are simply incapable and its not your job to raise anyone with good standards, you’re a partner not a parent. This is also known as immaturity and insecurity. Be careful boys! Find yourself a loyal one.

If she speaks your love language don’t let her get away.

If she goes out of her way to understand and speak your love language you better count yourself lucky. We live in superficial times where people date each other for what they can gain out of the relationship, instead of putting in selfless efforts to make the other person feel loved and adored. If she loves you more than she loves herself, marry her dude – or someone else will.

Strong and independent, but vulnerable when it matters.

I’m still struggling to find my balance between being strong and soft all at once but I do try! No man likes it when a woman tries to take his place, and rightfully so we should know where to draw the line and let the man take the lead. Its okay to not be okay all the time, I would say settle for someone who’s mature enough to know when she needs to put on her big girl pants and when its okay to admit she needs your shoulder. As long as no one gets drained in the process you’re both good to go.

Love versus money.

This can be a real tough one. Remember attention seeking Sally? I am willing to bet on her willingness to chase money instead of love. Be sure to trust your heart with the one that stays through the toughest of times, the girl that loves you for all you are, not all you have. If the money falls away, only love remains – if its not shallow.

10 Uncomfortable truths we all need to accept

10 Uncomfortable truths we all need to accept

by | Jul 21, 2020 | Beauty | 0 comments

“Its tough accepting, but necessary, my darling” – Moonbird

1.
You’re not going to be everybody’s cup of tea, and that’s okay.

Unfortunately the world is swamped with people who, no matter what you do, how hard you try, will simply just not like you. The good news is, the world is also filled with souls like your own, souls that will embrace your wildness without judging you for it. These people will love you fiercely and they are your earthly treasures. Don’t waste your finite time proving to undeserving people that you have value. They will miss it completely. They wont buy what you are selling. You are not for them and they are not for you. Seek to share your path with those who seek and recognize the beauty of your soulful presence, and leave the rest gracefully behind as you move on with your meaningful existence. 

2.
Tell your ego to shut up and call yourself out.

The most common reason why we keep making the same mistakes is because our insecure ego’s prevents us from taking responsibility for our own faults, toxic traits and mistakes. You have to call yourself out. That means we actually care about our futures, personal growth, progress and happiness. I’d rather exceed in growing my character than go through life with ignorance and just protecting my ego. Take a step back, grow up, and move on.

3.
There is no type of affection that can fill the void in a person who doesn’t love and value themselves.

Yes, our hearts are made to love each other, but you cant lean on someone in order to feel full. There is zero independence in dependency and there is no personal security in attaching yourself to a stable and secure person. Until you have a healthy relationship with yourself, you wont be making healthy decisions about someone else. Be happy alone, so that you can be happier with someone.

4.
Taking no risk is really the biggest risk.

I’ve missed out on so many opportunities because of the fear of failure, rejection and of course, my ego. We have to risk failure to succeed in everything in life. We have to risk rejection to be accepted. We have to risk heartbreak to love. If we’re always avoiding risk,we risk missing out on life.

5.
Happiness is where you are at the moment, or nowhere at all. Its not a relationship.

Its not a new car, job, completed goal or losing 5 kilograms. Until you give up the illusion that happiness is somewhere else, it will never ever be where you are. 

6.
Contrary to the popular opinions of our twisted society, quitting is for winners.

Knowing when to quit, change direction, leave a toxic situation, demand more from life or move on from people who no longer serves you, is a very important skill that people who win at life all seem to have. Don’t quit because its hard. Quit because it sucks and robs you from your joy.

7.
Closure is your choice, darling. Its not an apology, or justice, or revenge.

Its not even answers.
That’s insecurity. If the situation made you feel worthless, seeking closure by reopening it is silly. Closure isn’t something someone else can give you. Closure is moving on. Closure is essentially just your own choice, silly!

8. 

Gosh. I wish I knew this goodie earlier in my life. Your responsibility to help someone will NEVER outweigh their responsibility to help themselves. But, it’s worth asking yourself why you resonated so strongly with someone that so desperately needed “fixing” in the first place. Don’t become so obsessed with someone else’s healing that you forget about your own. Sometimes, our attachments tells a story about an issue we have within ourselves. Charity begins at home babe.

9.
If they really wanted to, they would.

If you apply pressure, they might do what you want them to. If you take the pressure off, you’ll see what they’d rather do. Never waste your precious time on these uncertain souls. Let them go. Move on. Do better.


10.
True allurement isn’t wrapped up in the perfect partner you wish to meet in a cozy coffee shop.

Its wrapped up in the smile that loves unconditionally. A decent breakfast. A warm sunset. A candle lit bath. A rising moon. A good book. The smell of a brand new day. Its wrapped up in little everyday joys we so easily take for granted.